She’s my auntie, and she’s my auntie too. Oh and that lady there, she’s also my auntie.

My main household while growing up consisted of four people, my mom, my dad, my sibling, and me. While on a day to day basis this was the norm, come any holiday or summertime, or even just a random weekend, my family grew, sometimes by 8 people and sometimes by 20.

In the desi culture, we call many of our parent’s friends as auntie and uncle despite not being related to them. It is a sign of respect (and at times an easy way to get out of actually knowing their name). And while this is the case for me, I am truly lucky to have such a large family with multiple aunts, uncles, and cousins.

What I love about my culture is how important family is. My parents made it clear to us at a very young age that family is everything, and with that being said, my sibling is my best friend. Now that does not mean that we did not have our share fair of fights or times that I felt as if they were trying to be a third parental unit, but the older we have got the closer we have become and for that, I am very grateful.

In my 30s I still do not get the idea of what a 2nd or 3rd cousin is. Anyone related to me on my lineage level is my cousin. A cool thing within the Indian culture is that you can tell what relation someone has to my a person based on what they call them. In my house, the terms we use are in Hindi. So if someone hears me say, “my nana and nani,” that means that I am referring my mother’s parents or my maternal grandparents. If you hear someone say “chacha” that means they are referring to their dad’s brother. For us, it did not stop there- “bua” is the term for a father’s sister. My mother had a bua so to us, she is “bua nani” (mother’s relation-grandparent’s lineage).

Back in 2011, during my sibling’s wedding, at some point (I am not going to lie, I can barely recall this point because of how intoxicated I was), a whole bunch of the family circled up, took a large vase that one of the floral arrangements sat in, filled it up with alcohol, took a large sip out of it and passed it to the next person. I think the circle had to be made of at least 40ish people. While the night may not have ended too well for many of us, it remains an epic night in our family.

Since most of my family is located on the East Coast, one big thing that I miss is being able to attend family events. Thanks to FaceTime, though, I have been able to connect and partake in certain events (ie, watching my niece graduate from Pre-k) to make me feel like I am part of them.

I have some friends who have had the total opposite experience with their families, where they may only see someone once a year or several years later and I am thankful to not be in that boat. Coming from a large family sure does add a bit of pizzazz into one’s life, family vacations become that much more fun, and you realize that just with the size of your family alone, you have what some consider to be a “large size party.”

Over the past few months, the important role that my family pays in my life was highlighted. I started writing this post over a month ago. I had every intention of posting it shortly after starting (most of it was already done), but I just was not feeling it. I was not feeling myself.

The past few months have been rough on me, between healing from my surgery while taking on heavy doses of epilepsy medications, I found myself falling into a depressive state. I decided to put things on hold, fly home, and spend time with my family. My grandparents, aunts, and uncles touch base with me often to see how I am doing- both emotionally and physically. I am incredibly blessed to have found such an amazing support system in my family.

The value of family, the idea of having a strong bond with my siblings and cousins, the idea of large get-togethers which are nothing more than a comfy do whatever you want to do and eat, and the overall warm feeling of family, is something that I want to ensure that I pass down to my children.